Time To Break Up With That Toxic Voice In Your Head

I have a vivid memory of the moment my child realized that just cause someone says they are your friend, doesn’t mean they behave like a friend. Crying in the back of the car, my child was trying to reconcile the image of what a friend is supposed to be, with the reality that this friend treated them like shit. My child kept repeating over and over. ‘But she’s my friend’ until it finally sunk in – she really wasn’t. It was heart breaking. Hallelujah, a friend break up occurred soon after. Proving you’re never too young to learn how to set a boundary.

Boundary setting can be a bitch, but we all gotta do it. Often one of the hardest boundaries to set is with yourself, and the voice in your head. Hopefully that inner voice is providing you insight and motivation. Whispering positive wisdom to your synapses, and helping to prop you up when you need it most. But sometimes that voice can get negative, disruptive, self talking you down a path that get’s you stuck.

We all know the image of the devil and the angel sitting on our shoulders, pushing us toward good or bad outcomes. But that image is just too binary, it doesn’t quite capture how insidious the negative inner voice can be. It’s important to treat her the same way you would treat a toxic friend. Just cause she is a part of you, doesn’t mean you need to give her any more respect than you would anyone else kicking you up and down the sidewalk. I know she is you, but don’t let that distract you. You need your mind focused on your goals, on your dreams. Providing free rent to someone who eats your food, takes your stuff, and parks in your spot – you don’t have time for that. You have more important things to do.

“I’ve always believed that you can think positive just as well as you can think negative.”

— JAMES BALDWIN

Think about it, would you say the stuff you say to yourself to another person? No. Would you stand by and let someone say that nasty stuff to someone you love? Hells No! So don’t tolerate it. Sit her down, tell her you appreciate her interest in your life, but if she isn’t going to be supportive or constructive, she needs to back off. Tell her she is not welcome in your brain, your thoughts, your feels, your space, anymore. Be Gone!

Then celebrate! Celebrate in whatever way you want. Post about it. Tell your actual friends. Tell your colleagues. Don’t keep it a secret. It’s an accomplishment. It’s a record of your success. It’s a reminder to yourself to not let her near you again. Then get back to work building your dream. Let’s work on it together. It’s difficult but you can do it, I have faith in you.

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