Do you ever feel like you are caught in the hustle and you can’t get out? Like you are so overwhelmed with tasks, sucking down caffeine and Keto Power Balls just to keep you standing upright?
I do! I’ve been there. The only thing that stopped me was a global pandemic. Seems a little extreme doesn’t it? That is takes something so catastrophic to slow you down. It shouldn’t have to. So, I’m gonna teach you how to escape hustle culture.
What Hustle Culture Looks Like
It is overwork: working harder, faster and longer, lack of sleep, forgetting to eat, and using substances like caffeine or sugar or others just to get the work done.
On the outside it can look good, like you have it all together, like you are high on accomplishment and productivity. This is part of the problem. Your need to achieve is corrupting you.
Hustle culture is not confined to the corporate work world, it shows up in our relationships, our parenting, our need to do it all. The be the best, better than whoever and whatever, all while sailing on a yacht.
Women are especially susceptible. The “you can have it all” messaging, a working world that wasn’t designed for them, AND piles of unpaid labor in their personal lives leaves them under valued. All of this keeps them in a hustle cycle which leads to burnout.
What it Feels Like
Hustle Culture feels like pressure and exhaustion. It comes with the rise and crash of relying on substances to make it through. It is paired with irritability, distraction and disconnection.
Sometimes it’s exhilarating – getting it all done! But that success breeds more hustle. The cycle continues until it is unsustainable, and starts affecting your physical, mental and emotional health and your relationships.
If you are around a pro-hustle environment, you feel part of the in crowd. You feel like you belong, like one of the boys, part of the team, or a super woman/mom/caregiver at home. But when you burnout, and slow down,, anxiety erupts and fear of being left behind.
Why it is so Hard to Deal With
Because it is rewarded with promotion opportunities and success. It feels good for awhile, like you are super human, getting so much done. Your business may grow fast and furious, but at what cost?
It is hard to get out of the cycle because the hustle, the grind, and the outcome of working hard is valued by other people; your bosses, peers and social media. Your importance and value seems to increase when you celebrate your unhealthy approach to work and life management.
The Cost
There is no way to maintain happy, healthy relationships AND be wrapped up in Hustle Culture.
The behavior associated with Hustle Culture locks you into an unsustainable pattern of stress and anxiety that beats the crap out of your physical, mental and emotional health.
So, What the F*ck Do We Do?
1) CALL IT OUT
First, identify how the hustle shows up in your life:
How late/early do you work?
When’s the last time you took a break?
Can you turn it off to be present for other things?
Do you have passions, interests, relationships outside of work?
When was the last time you visited your family (if they are not assholes and its healthy to be around them)?
Do you find Hustle Culture in how you manage you home life, family life, or how you schedule your kids activities?
Is there down time for doing nothing?
Is your brain and body on all the time, scheduling and doing more, the best, better, etc.?
When was the last time you just goofed off, played, found joy, or spent time creating something for yourself? Is work the only thing you find fun?
CALL IT OUT – identify it and name it. Naming is the key to change. If you can’t or won’t name it. It is impossible to change it.
2) STOP ENABLING IT
When you enable something – you give it the authority or power to influence you.
Hustle culture isn’t just about your behaviors. It is also about the behaviors of the people around you, the content you consume, and the stuff you celebrate.
Hustle Culture is infectious.
It spreads like a virus and infects those that come in contact with it. It is easy to get stuck in an environment or around people who perpetuate an unhealthy work ethic. The best way to eliminate the hustle is to eliminate spending time with the people and things that perpetuate it.
Stop following “influencers” or gurus that glorify Hustle Culture. Stop checking the twitter account or reading the parenting blog. Accept the FOMO and focus your attention elsewhere.
Stop spending time with people who make you feel like you aren’t doing enough. I understand it may be unrealistic to immediately quit your job if it is a culprit – but you can say no to happy hour with office mates that only talk about their productivity hacks and go back to work after the happy our is over.
3) SET BOUNDARIES FOR YOURSELF
I have a full training on how to set boundaries that stick.
Linked here:
But in the mean time, start small. Pick just one small boundary to set. Remember, a boundary is a line that clearly identifies the limits of an area. It protects your time, attention, as well as you physical, mental and emotional space.
Often we hit a snag with boundaries when we try to set limits without knowing what the boundary is there to protect in the first place.
So your boundary is protecting you from hustling, but why? What do you want to be doing with your time and attention instead of praying to the alter of work? Is it to be present for your family, to repair your personal relationships, repair your relationship with yourself, learn to basket weave, what?
Pick ONE THING that matters to you.
“I won’t check clients’ emails after 8pm so I can spend quality, focused time on my family or myself”
or
“I will only organize 2 PTA events, not all 6, so I can spend my time and attention on doing something for myself instead.”
Picking it, naming it, and calling it out will help you enforce it.
Once you get a handle on that one thing. Add another thing to your boundaries setting list, and keep going – slowly. If you move too fast it can derail the process. Set one boundary at a time
Let's Recap!
We talked about what hustle culture looks like, feels like, why it’s hard to ditch and the cost of staying in the hustle.
To leave hustle culture, you have to:
1) Call it out in your life. You can’t change anything you are unable to recognize in the first place
2) Stop enabling it. It’s hard to change anything when you stay around the people, places and community that glorify the bad behavior you are trying to change.
3) Start setting boundaries to protect yourself from falling back into the hustle. Start small, and work up from there.
Good Luck escaping hustle culture. It’s a journey, but you, your self care and personal relationships, matter more than your accomplishments .
